1. When stealing a bike don’t use your own security card to access the bike shed.
2. Don’t stare at the CCTV in broad daylight.
3. Don’t steal it from the same university you also study at.
4. Don’t, having successfully stolen the bike, ride it to said university and park it out front a week later.
5. Don’t think the owner won’t recognise it if half of it is covered in green electrical tape (WTF).
6. Don’t commit the felony when a bracers-wearing Canadian bike fanatic happens to be in charge of security.
Jon (and the awesome Canadian security man) 1 – 0 Highly retarded bike thief.