The Social Netb0rk

OK, so ‘bork’ was the only play on words I could think of and if my time playing geeky computer games is not too distant in the rear-view mirror I’d say I recall ‘bork’ as meaning ‘fuck up’. So, off the bat, an apology. I actually thought The Social Network was frickin’ awesome times.

I wasn’t really interested in anything about the film apart from Jesse Eisenberg who plays Zuckerberg. Not when I went in. When I went in I was all kinds of curious but within 2 minutes of suffering the latest Orange cinema advert (and an accompanying friend ACTUALLY LAUGHING AT IT) I didn’t care about anything but Jesse.

His performance was so exceptional that I spent most of my 2 hours feeling terrible for Mark, the guy who, perhaps through stealing, perhaps through borrowing, undoubtedly through genius, gave the world the most revolutionary communication tool it’s ever likely to see.

After Jesse’s performance half the world must be calling Zuckerberg a cunt. It’s not just the script, it’s how believable he was. Definitely one of the first times I’ve forgotten I was watching a film.

But the thing is, for me anyway, it was never really about him being considered a cunt by others, it was more about whether he thought he was a cunt himself.

Assuming Jesse accurately portrays Mark and assuming the script accurately reflects true events (which it probably does as Facebook’s lawyers are presumably also ninja assassins) then the guy was deeply tormented. He’s like frickin’ Einstein or something. I didn’t see it as an outward battle against courts or friends or girls or rowing jocks. It all seemed fundamentally to be going on behind his eyes. It’s as if the creator of the Information Age had asperger (a point I must attribute to aforementioned Orange-giggling cinema accomplice, thanks.).

So, as I said, I don’t care if he stole it. It was as if he didn’t have a choice. He seemed to have some internal monologue that said ‘DO IT’. There was no ‘but that might be stealing you guys!’. It was just utter compunction. Friends, colleagues, classmates, whatever. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, or perhaps more appropriately, it wasn’t that he disliked them. It was that he HAD to satisfy his desires.

Social awkwardness, fitting in, desire to be noticed… I’m not convinced. He looked introverted, like his passion was his own, and not for anyone else.

People might say that his obsession with Mr Napster is where my argument breaks down but I’m not so sure. He recognised (and I’m not going to say ‘liked’) Sean for the work he had done because it reflected his own desires. He ‘liked’ (damn, said it) him even more when his recommendations further reflected them. The drinking, the partying, the bra models… he was just checking out the architecture dudes!

Anyway, I’m rambling as ever. I just hope others felt as absorbed by one actor’s portrayal of a man as I did. As  I said, I barely noticed anyone else.

And to all those out there that hate him for what he did I point you to the Hedonic Calculus and ask you at the same time to ignore ALL OF ITS WEAKNESSES!

My accomplice has written a far more rounded and intellectual review of the film here. Perhaps that’s why it is indeed there and not on a blog about high-fives and dinosaurs. WE’LL NEVER KNOW!

As a sidenote I’d like to point out that with one extra letter and some funky pronunciation ‘asperger’ syndrome would be a hell of a lot cooler.


Dear internet THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for making this picture exist!


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